Parent Teacher Conferences

I want to preface this post by saying that I hope people reading my blog will not take anything I say and extrapolate that all Kenyans behave in a certain way. Even when I make generalizations, there are many people who are exceptions to what I say. Furthermore, the situation described below is the conduct of one individual, and should not reflect any generalizations about Kenyans, Kenyan teachers, my community or any other group.

Well, not exactly parent-teacher conferences. The fourth year students were instructed to have their parents come to school today. All of the teachers, the parents and the fourth years crowded into a single classroom and we talked. This was happening during the school day, so the other 3/4 of the school was left without teachers or lessons for half of the day.

The session started off well. All of the parents and teachers introduced ourselves and I managed to do all of my talking in Kiswahili. Then things went downhill from there.

The format was as follows. The teachers had the report cards from last November. They announced the student's name. The parent came up and collected the form. The parent then proceeded to announce their criticisms of their child's performance to the whole group, usually calling them lazy and undisciplined. When the teaching staff felt the criticism was inadequate, they would add in some of their own. The students could rebut slightly, but they all seemed pretty dispirited. As each parent or teacher went in turn, the other students would laugh, while the victim would sit with his or her head hung. It was one of the most excruciating experiences thus far.

The absolute low point came midway through this. Now, it's common for teachers to ask leading questions so that the students at least engage in whatever is being said. My colleague asked the following question to one student: "Where are your parents?" [Pause, pause, pause] (sometimes it's silent, and sometimes students murmur the response) he continued "That's right, they're dead." At this point, I was rather taken aback. He continued, "And you've been taken in by this nice woman, and you haven't been able to get A's. You are lucky that you have a home to go to, and this is how you treat them? You can just sit down now."

It took every piece of strength I had to keep from punching him right then. Everyone else in the room seemed pretty non-plussed by this, however. I've had several experiences so far where parents or teachers felt it necessary to remind students that they are incredibly stupid, and I just don't know what to say at that juncture.

The session finished eventually. As it was wrapping up, I asked to be allowed to speak again (as I wasn't criticizing the students, my comments seemed out of place during the rest of the talk). I wanted to speak in Kiswahili, but I knew that I would lose most of my meaning if I did, so I settled for English (the session was conducted in both English and Kiswahili, so I didn't feel so bad about this). I stood up and I said that everyone in the room should be working together so that the students succeed. The students are the ones who take the exams, but it is imperative that both teachers and parents become very involved in the process. I talked about supporting and encouraging students, and even discussing the material that the students had learned at school. The word that I kept using was responsibility, while during the criticism session, the words were inevitably pejorative. The parents and teachers seemed to acknowledge that what I was saying had some logic to it, but the students seemed to really be smiling. I don't know if anything will change for these students' situations, but maybe at least when they have children, they will really become involved in their education.

I was really disgusted for most of the night. I called home and talked to my mother for a while and felt better, but it still took a really long time before I could fall asleep.