This is why I don't get invited places

So today I went to Belinda's send off party. Belinda is the sister of Oscar, who is one of my co-workers. A send off party seems like a wedding, though the actual ceremony is on Saturday. I guess I would describe it as a cross between giving the bride away and the bridal shower, but it felt like a wedding at several points. When Jodie and I first got the invitation (which looked like a wedding invitation), we actually thought it was a wedding seeing as it invited us to the ceremony at the church followed by a short reception.

Basically, we all went to the church as the priest blessed the bride (she had her bridesmaids and maid of honor there as well as friends and family, but the groom was not part of it) and conducted a fairly standard Catholic mass. And as Jodie and I were the only non-Tanzanians there, the priest made sure to announce to the congregation that Belinda had guests from America and Japan (actually Jodie is of Chinese descent and was born and raised in the US).

After this, we went to a big hall where the groom and his friends and family joined the group. There was music and dancing and speeches (a lot of speeches) and food and champagne and a roaring good time. I was a little out of it for the first bit of this. It was 9 PM before they served food, and I hadn't eaten much of anything all day (we expected a 2-4 hour event and getting home by 7) and the people at my table were starting to worry as I looked more ragged. But all of this is just setting the stage. The important part of this story is the gift giving ceremony.

Just before the wedding, Jodie and I bought a set of three metal racks that were hung in tiers by a chain with a hook at the top so that you could hang it from the ceiling (a handy way to keep pests out of your food). And then we went to the market and bought fruit to put into the basket. The selection of coconuts, avocados, oranges and bananas seemed like a really delightful arrangement.

Anyway, at the reception hall, the emcee was calling out guests by name and they danced down the center aisle holding their gift to present to the bride. There were cameras and a huge spotlight and it was a huge spectacle. One group danced down carrying a gas grill and burners, and another needed 12 people to carry a mattress, bed slats and the whole frame (that was pretty amazing). I've always preferred a lower profile, but I knew that we needed to participate in the tradition, so they called out Jodie's name and we went up with our gift. Our faces were already beet red as we reached the start of the aisle, and then after about three steps, the chain snapped and the gift was lying at my feet. I felt like I was simultaneously blushing while the blood rushed out of my face. We hastily picked everything up and danced our way to the bride and sheepishly presented the gift as she smiled at us.

Now, we can flash back a bit. The chain actually snapped in the car when we were trying to find our way to the church in the first place. Jodie thought she had it fixed, but when we got to the church, I discovered that it snapped again. I figured it was a weight issue, so I took out some fruit. This kept up until I had removed about 70% of the fruit. I walked around with it a bit to make sure that it wouldn't break again. I was so hopeful that I could just give them the gift without embarrassing myself. So much for that.

My friend Bernard had come to dance down the aisle with us, so I was glad to have a Tanzanian at my side when this happened. He pointed out that they'll all enjoy having a funny story to tell about the reception. And I think I learned that from now on, when I bring a gift to a wedding, it's just going to be an envelope with cash. Actually, it was really funny when they called for "everyone else" and a huge column formed of people carrying pots and towels and basins and lots of kitchen/cleaning related supplies (I'll stay away from commenting on gender roles for now). But I was just glad to make a quiet exit after the gift debacle (and the 7.5 hour event that we had expected to last 2-4 hours).